For a good time read below...

Sorensen Power

2010-04-27T17:38:00.000-07:00

Well, as you can tell, I've majorly slacked off on my blogging skills. I do, however, have a few little ditties to share with the rest of you.

This is a picture of my nephew Nathan. He's pretty cute. At a dinner I went to with my parents and sisters, I saw something I had to take a picture of. It wasn't Nathan, but he thought it was.

This is a pretty awesome picture I was part of with the Glovers. As Mari's friend, David, said, "It portrays the evolution of Asian apes into Caucasian men yielding hatchets."

Emi and I at the semi-awesome Japanese festival in downtown Salt Lake. The Ogden Taiko drummers were pretty sweet.

The Sorensens had a sushi party a week or so ago and here you can behold the awesome sushi we made. Yes, those are deep fried rolls.

It starts... again... tonight

2010-04-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

Glee starts again tonight. In honor of that, I share an awesome flash mob video with you.

I'm watching Lost.

Olga Willden Sorensen

2010-02-01T12:53:00.000-08:00

Olga Willden Sorensen

March 5, 1925 – February 1, 2010

Today my Grandma Sorensen passed away. She was an remarkable lady who taught me a lot about life and playing cards. I will dearly miss her but I know she’s in a better place.

My Grandma and Grandpa Sorensen were both (and still are) two very great people. Some of my favorite memories are of visiting them in Mayfield in the summer and spending time with them. We played a lot of cards.

For the last four years or so, my Grandma lived at my parent’s house – during which I lived there as well! So one day I walked up stairs with my AR-15 in a gun case and someone asked me, “What do you got there.” I pulled out the assault rifle, showed them and my Grandma said something like, “That’s a cool gun!” I, being in accord, asked her if she wanted to hold it, thinking to myself that she’d probably say no. To my surprise, she happily accepted, took it out of my hands and let me take a picture of her with it. To this day, this is one of my favorite pictures of my Grandma. She had a fun and happy attitude about life and never showed any reservations about having a good time.

My Grandma loved getting her family together and every year we would all unite and celebrate Christmas by going to The Golden Corral! Needless to say, it was always a spectacular time. I love my Grandma, and while she has passed on, I know I’ll see her again someday and in the meantime I’ll have some pretty awesome memories.

Construction Projects

2010-01-25T21:42:00.000-08:00

Many of you already know this, but part of being a good husband is building things when the need presents itself. Sometimes it's a fence, a house or a shelf to go in that house. Other times it can be a meal - building meals should happen three times a day, at least.

Because we live in an extremely small apartment there aren't really any building projects. And while I do cook on occasion, a mauch higher and more important duty was imposed upon me. Someone needed to build a gun. I, being the good husband I am, volunteered for the job. I assembled this little ditty below using a few household tools in the proper proportions.

I haven't named it yet, but feel free to leave a comment suggesting a name.

Las Vegas & William Jefferson Clinton

2010-01-19T15:32:00.001-08:00

Over the twenty-six years of my life I haven’t met very many famous people, but every now and again I meet someone totally awesome and cool. This is a story about one of those instances.

Date: October 22, 2009
Location: Sam Boyd Stadium - Las Vegas, NV, USA
Time: Approximately 10:26 p.m. PST
Event: U2 360 Tour

Last October as Emi and I were leaving the U2 concert in Las Vegas, NV, we were cutting through hordes of people at high speeds, using our freakishly long legs. During our exit strategy, we quickly identified an ulterior route between giant semis and smaller cars.

Upon arriving at the end of the row of cars and semis we saw a hullabaloo going down and we knew It. Was. On.

We weren’t quite sure what was on but I quickly identified a man Bono referred to during the concert as “William Jefferson Clinton.” Yes, that’s right, less than 30 feet away from us was the infamous Bill Clinton. I yelled to him, “Hey Bill,” and waved in a “what’s-up-dude” way.

When I did this the second time Mr. Clinton looked over at Emi and I and proceeded to walk towards us. About five seconds later Bill shook our hands and told Emi he liked her Franz Ferdinand shirt. We chatted for a few seconds, I poked him in the chest and Emi asked if we could take a picture with him. He agreed, a secret service agent appeared out of nowhere and snapped a photo.

It turns out the camera was on video but luckily I was able to get this picture out of the video.

Victory!

Merry Christmas: From the Sorensens

2010-01-07T08:32:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year

2010-01-04T07:51:00.000-08:00

So over the past few months I've felt ashamed. Not because of BO, not because of pimples, not because of anything I'm normally ashamed of; I have been afflicted by shame because of my lack of blogging. For that reason I have ceased to read other blogs as well. I felt that my lack of sharing meant I wasn't worthy to read written words of my friends and family. In 2010 I have made several goals.... nay, RESOLUTIONS! One of these was to keep an updated blog. So watch out 2010. Here I come.

I think it’s fitting that my first blog be of my New Year’s activities. I woke up New Year’s Eve wondering what I would do that evening. No plans had been made and I was later contacted by a friend, Neal, who suggested we have an impromptu crab boil. So. We. Did.

After work, I went to Smiths, picked up an assortment of crab boil necessities and headed home to prepare.

It turned out terrific (even on such short notice) and needless to say, a good time was had by all. We also played some serious Catch Phrase and I didn’t suffer bodily injuries this time.

Boil

Wong, Neal, Alex & Sheree

Mike and Jo

We also had delicious Fondue.

+ =

2010

2010-01-01T00:58:00.000-08:00

Twenty-ten is going to be a big year. Stay tuned for details....

The Four Bagger

2009-08-04T20:37:00.000-07:00

Now, I know it has been what some call eons since my last post, so like most people who fail to blog on a constant basis, I apologize! Now that we have that awkward, unnecessary apology out of the way, we can get on with the story.

This is a story about how I obtained the nickname Four Bagger and it ended with what I would call an exciting display of emotion. Now I'll Tarantino it and tell you how we arrived at this end.

Last Thursday, my friend Leif Dixon was in town. I got a call from my bro-nameth, Mike, telling me we were all going bowling. Because Emi was preoccupied with school tasks, I headed out alone.

Upon arriving at Olympus Bowl, I paid for two games and tried on my shoes. They fit perfectly - as perfectly as rental shoes can. I felt good. I got the first spare of the night. But slowly, things ceased to look good for me. My first game was far from bragable. In fact, my sister-in-law and I tied for last.

The second game was off to a slow start as well. I went three frames with getting robbed by only dropping nine pins. I finally decided it would probably be good to score some strikes because you get more points. So in the fourth frame of the second game I got my first strike of the game. Fifth frame, another strike.

Now, as a side note, I've never in my life bowled a turkey. I've bowled two strikes on multiple occasions, but never three. As I stood up there on the sixth frame I knew I was going to change history, hell, change the world!

I stood, grabbed the nine pound ball and I bowled a turkey! Next frame, I decided to "take it to the edge... and past it!" I made up my mind to get more strikes in a row than ever known to man! Four!

I did it! The screen flashed "Four Bagger" and I knew I had reached the second happiest day of my life. At that moment, I knew world peace had occurred and all mankind was celebrating in my momentous occasion. Through the entire game, I only missed 5 pins! I think the Guinness Book of World Records is updating their books for best job bowling... EVER.

As a side note, the red ball that did this is featured in the picture above. Credit goes to mike for finding it. If you go to Olympus Bowl, find it. I promise if you can harness it's power, you could make world records of your own as well.

Economic Crisis: Where to invest

2009-07-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

I've emptied my 401k and gone the AR route.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Money Shot

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
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Political Humor

Jason Jones in Iran

R.I.P.

2009-06-26T10:30:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson - Thriller | Music Videos | SPIKE.com

Mesa Verde

2009-06-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

Emi and I recently had the opportunity to go to Mesa Verde National Park and let me tell you, good times were had by all! The temperature was a little colder than expected, but I preferred that over hiking deep canyons in scorching heat.

It’s pretty impressive to see all the structures these people built long ago with only stone axes. Some of the buildings were incredibly detailed, large and hard to get to, but some how these people managed to build them.

Another mind fudging detail is that there are over 600 cliff dwellings in Mesa Verde and 4,000 ruins. We merely saw a total of 6 or 7.

Also, I realize this is the first post in ages. Life has been kind of busy, but i'm hoping to get more time to blog our summer activities in the near future.

Long House

Cliff Palace

Art at the MoMA

2009-04-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

During our trip to New York City, Emi and I had the chance to stop at the MoMA. Among the artistic creations we observed, here are a few of our favorites.

Yep.

Emi's favorite. By Pablo Picasso

My favorite. Also by Picasso

NYC Construction

2009-04-03T06:58:00.000-07:00

St. Patrick's Cathedral

LDS Temple

Building in SoHo

What do a rat, a shoping cart, a gun and the Avenue of the Strongest Worth have in common?

2009-04-01T15:29:00.000-07:00

Answer: They are all things we saw in New York City!

This gun picture was taken at the MoMA, and was an artistic interpretation of the comma or something.

I'm not sure what's going on here, but I like it.

Everybody's gotta watch out for those thieves!

One of our major goals for the trip was to see a New York City Rat. We accomplished this on our last day in the subway and as an added bonus, it had mange!

30 Rock

2009-03-31T07:26:00.000-07:00

Foodstuffs; a NYC mind-fudge

2009-03-26T15:19:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things about visiting NYC was the delicious foodstuffs. Everywhere you turn the streets were inundated with people selling all kinds of delights. Sometimes you'd be walking down the street and you'd smell something unprecedented. Because so many smells were mixing together, you weren't sure if it was a good smell or an evil smell. It was like so many smells - some good, some bad - converged to create a super-smell that somehow broke your smelling system. Anyway...

All of you know there is a hot dog stand on every corner, but did you know each of these hot dog stands is also home to a magical pretzel cooker? Well they are! For only two U.S. American dollars, you can get yourself a saltily delicious pretzel!

If that doesn't suit your fancy, you can always go to Magnolia's Bakery. This little ditty is home to some of the best pastries in New York City. Above you can see two of the company's creations. The one on the left is a Macadamia Nut Cheesecake and the one on the right is a Pumpkin Cheesecake. Both selections delighted our pallets.

If you are feeling ~~slightly~~ exceedingly more carnivorous, feel free to stop by the famous Carnegie Deli. While we didn't see Aurthur Fonzarelli or Bowser from Sha Na Na there, we did see pleanty of meat-filled sandwiches, like the above Woddy Harrelson, which was filled with 8 inches of corned beef and pastrami.

Where else could you find so many foods melted into one condensed location? New York City, my friend, New York City. So if yuo are looking for some good eats, you know where to go.

The Big Easy Way

2009-03-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, Emi and I had the opportunity to go to New York, New York. Let me just say, We had a blast!

I'm going to be featured as a guest blogger at www.dottingthemap.com, so feel free to check there to get some in depth travel posts.

In the meantime, I'm going to be putting up one or two pictures a day and tell the story of how the Sorensen's owned the Big Easy!

Top o' the Morning to Ye!!!

2009-03-17T13:25:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, today is a pretty special day. For those of you who are simply spying on me via WWW, prior to being declared St. Patrick’s Day, March 17^th was foredestined to become an even more of an important day; my birthday! Turning 26 has been pretty awesome so far; I’m feeling pretty good about where I’m at in life and what the world has in store for me. As Gwen Stefani would say, “I’m feelin’ hella good.”

Last year was good, but it definitely had its ups and downs. Last night I had a pretty crazy dream which signifies, what I call a time of my life filled with awesomeness and good times.

In this dream, I was riding my bike* along and suddenly I noticed in the trees that there were snakes all around. Being an appreciator for all things slithering, I immediately stopped picked up a medium sized slithering beast. I’m no ophiologist, but I think it was a python.

Anyway, so I pick up said snake and begin to ride my bicycle. As I’m riding along, the snake freaking bites me in the face, but nothing happened (other than the fact that a freaking snake tried to kill me). I then proceeded to squeeze the snake. This quickly proved to be a not-so-good idea because then it bit my hand and I couldn’t get it off. I tried everything and eventually pried its jaws open and threw it on the ground. It began to race quickly away from me (probably because it recognized I had commandeered a shovel from somewhere). As it’s making its escape it slithered right into the belly of a much larger snake (anaconda?) which seemed to be much friendlier towards me. I thanked the snake for assisting me claim victory over snake “A” and after that I woke up.To help you fathom what it was really like I attempted to recreate the series of events.

What does this mean? I think the first snake signifies my 25^th year of life on this earth and the second snake represents the upcoming year. The eating of the 25^th year symbolizes the 26^th’s year of superiority in all things awesome. So, you ask, what does this all mean? Well, this year is going to be a good one!

Of course this could be a combination of the following:

Listening to too much Aquabats, namely Attacked by Snakes
Looking on KSL and Craigslist for bikes (*If you have one you are looking to sell, let me know)
Killing snakes in Resident Evil 5

Comics?

2009-03-13T15:03:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, Emi and I went and saw Watchmen. I was hoping to have read the book prior to seeing the movie, but alas, I did not. I liked the movie a lot, especially the first 20 minutes and the part about Rorschach's history. Now, upon discussing the cinematic successes of Watchmen, some may argue it was not as good as the ~~comic book~~ graphic novel. I have since started reading Watchmen and let me tell you this: it's pretty awesome. The characters are more developed and because I'm a little slow I can go back and read the parts I didn't understand. Hindsight has also made me feel happy I saw the movie first. So was the book better than the movie? Probably. Was the movie pretty awesome? Yeah. Will I see the movie again after finishing the book? Most definitely. Now, the following video compares the awesomeness of Watchman to the awesomeness of X-Men. I'll just let you view the clip for yourself.

Will YOU be prepared for the nuclear apocalypse?

2009-02-27T08:43:00.000-08:00

Now, this is a question I’ve always asked myself. I decided, how can I properly train my kids without myself having the proper tools and knowledge?! For this reason I have dedicated 60+ hours to playing just Fallout 3, another 25+ to playing Left for Dead and even more hours to playing various other games where I:

• Kill zombies
• Roam a barren wasteland
• Hack radioactive cows to pieces with a flaming sword or my bare fists
• Craft explosive devices and traps for both fun and protection
• Slaughter masses with nuclear weaponry
• Chainsaw evilness in half… WITHOUT HESITATION!
• Strategically use teamwork to fight hordes of radioactive infected

I feel ready and for that reason my kids will be ready. Now I’ll let you hear what the experts have to say.

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

Good Eats - A Serious Case of VD

2009-02-19T10:10:00.000-08:00

As any friend of mine knows, I enjoy Good Eats. This Valentimes Day, or VD for you abbreviaters, weekend was especially filled with good eats. Below you will see some of the delicatessen on which we dined over the few days we had off.

I, being a great husband, purchased my wife cupcakes from Mini’s Cupcakes on 8^th South. Let me just say the taste as good as they look. I think they contain angel tears and rapture juice.

My lovely wife made delicious sugar cookies in honor of the weekend.

Because she knew I hate sugar cookies (because they are hard) she made cupcakes as well – also very delicious.

Then we found this creepy girl.

On Valentimes we did a romantic crab boil for us and our neighbors. As you can tell, it gave me a serious case of lobster brow.

Not so delicious

Not pictured: Me eating a 1lb Recees Peanut Butter Cup. Emi’s still paying the price for that one!

Weapons of Mass Destruction

2009-02-05T09:28:00.000-08:00

As you all know, George Bush couldn't find the WMD's! Well here they are!

As you can tell, I'm a lead farmer!

A Major Milestone for the Silver Bullet

2009-02-03T12:46:00.000-08:00

My car has hit a major, evil milestone in its life:

Red Snow!

2009-01-29T10:54:00.000-08:00

One of the worst parts of living up at University Village (even worse than the plumbing) is the deer! They are literally everywhere. I see them on almost a daily basis in the parking lot, under the trees and even on our front lawn. Now you may ask, “How can that be a bad thing?” The reason I hate these deer is because I am constantly faced with temptation to slay them – a good yet illegal thing.

Wednesday, Emi and I were heading to Alex and Sheree’s house to get our Lost on. As soon as I opened up the door, I met Him:

This picture is literally taken from inside our house. Normally, the temptation to shoot these deer is easily put aside, but when it’s a four point, and he’s that close, it is a bit harder.

Emi went and grabbed my gun, but unfortunately this shot was not safe. As all you can see, there is a kid in the background. If it wasn’t for that sledder, we would’ve dined on the flesh of wild beasts!

So don’t worry everyone, all the deer at University Village are safe and there is no red snow… for now!

They’re back, and it’s like a Christmas present… from New Zealand.

2008-12-18T09:11:00.000-08:00

Season 2 Online Premiere - Flight of the Conchords (US Only) - watch more funny videos

Hell Clog: Deuce

2008-12-12T13:31:00.000-08:00

As most of you are well aware, I am not new to the world of Hell Clog fighting; some may even refer to me as the Hell Clog Viking. We have recently had another incident in our apartment. Rather than draw pictures, I’ve made a few short “how to” videos depicting my battle, allowing you to also fight Hell Clogs in your own house.

So as you can see, I was unsuccessful in slaying this mighty Hell Clog. Or so I thought…

About 30 minutes after attempting to decimate the Hell Clog with my windbag talents Emi beckoned me to witness the carnage unleashed on our sink. Here is a picture of the aftermath.
Once again, it looks like our neighbor has spawned this Hell Clog by putting large amounts of crud down the sink.In the hole where everything drains to the sewer is a big ball of hair covered in sludge. Disgusting.

So there you have it kids. Now, I command you to go forth and eliminate any clog that stands in your way

Weekend, workin' for the weekend....

2008-11-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

So just as any red blooded American, I enjoy my weekends. Some might call me a weekend warrior because to me weekends are sacred and special... and cool.

My last two weekends have been especially awesome. Let me ask you two questions and see if you can answer “yes” to these.

How many of you have ever been to a buffalo auction?
How many of you have ever been kicked by a horse?

My last two weekends have allowed me to answer "yea" to both of these questions.

On the Great Salt Lake there is a god forsaken island known as Antelope Island which is home to basically nothing but a few buildings and 600 head of tatonka. Nothing else. Every year there is a Great Buffalo Round up on said island where approximately 200 beasts are auctioned off to the public. Two weeks ago, my family, loving all things buffalo, decided to purchase their very own pet buffalo and raise it in our backyard.

So without further ado, meet Jim:

Jim is my family’s new pet buffalo. He is 6, loves playing on the swings and enjoys video games. After a few visits from the police and protests from the neighbors, Jim was shot and killed. While his life as a Sorensen was short, we will forever remember his superb ~~taste~~ personality.

Also, Drew and Emily Dayton invited us to go horse back riding with them this past Saturday. I’ve never really mounted a horse before or ridden one on a trail, but it was pretty awesome. Here I am in all my cowboy-glory riding Laredo.

Wow, after looking at this picture I understand why my horse had such extreme sweatage! He’s kind of small compared to my massiveness.

If you’ve never been horseback riding, I highly recommended it – just don’t let your horse get too close to the other horses tail. In my case the other horse might kick your horse in the face and you in the shin. I don’t blame the horse though. If someone was getting too close to my dairy air, you better believe they’d be getting a kick or two in the face.

So, I declare to you fellow reader. Don't be afraid to work for the weekend and seek a little adventure; and if you're looking for good examples of party animals. You know where to turn:

PR and Politics: 2008 Presidential Showdown

2008-11-14T15:40:00.000-08:00

So the elections are finally over. Obama was declared the winner. But one must ask how did he get here? Yes, I know by votes, but what did Barack do to get so many of these aforementioned votes?

I would like to discuss the pubic public relations tactics of the 2008 showdown!

As I’ve mentioned in past posts, there’s this new cool hype on the internet (thank you Al Gore*) called Social Media – also known as web 2.0, new media or interactive media. This media is what some may call the future of communication. I’ll be honest, I use it… and so did both candidates.

Now, there are a plethora of devices candidates used to inform the public of their policies and verbally assault each other. Billions were spent to create the most grandiose campaigns the U.S. of A. has ever seen but in reality, the value far exceeded the mountains of money candidates forked out to tell their stories.

There’s a little ditty called YouTube which both Barack and John used to gain free publicity. Millions of viewers visit YouTube each day to watch videos other people posted for free. B & J both capitalized on this free service to reach viewers and show commercials, ads and share messages that would normally cost thousands of dollars each time they were run on paid TV. Now, it’s kind of hard to assign an actual value to those types of tactics, but not only were these videos shown on YouTube. They were shown on blogs AND ended up getting put on national TV for free.

Wait? Dan, did you say candidates schemed their way into getting free coverage on TV? Are you doing speedballs?

Yes, I did say that but I’m as clean as 2008 Heath Ledger (oops… too early). Some of the more ridiculous or funny ads were picked up by news stations and featured in stories, giving candidates a broader reach than originally planned. A great example of this is John’s ad where he compared Barack to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Doing this created an outrage in the media and even forced poor Paris to take matters into her own hands… which carried her daddy’s wallet.

When Paris created her rebuttal ad, that in turn, was picked up by media outlets everywhere. Her video, on www.funnyordie.com, received over 8,000,000 hits in 3 months. That’s not even counting the hits on YouTube. Once people saw Paris’s ad, they had to check out John’s too. This, while unplanned, turned out to provide more of a reach than paid for.

Another great PR tactic used by Barack was using third parties to tell his story. In the biz, we call this third-party credibility. Utah, being one of the reddest states in the country – which was second to only Wyoming by percentages – meant that any one who voted for Barack was throwing their vote in the trash! Okay, not really, but you get what I’m saying. Barack’s campaign strategy for Utah included having supporters bussed to Colorado to knock doors and campaign on behalf of Barack. Oh my gosh, this worked!!!! 54% of Colorado voted for Obama. In addition, they had people call potential Coloradoan supporters by phone to spread the Obamamania.

This is an example of how this works.

Let’s say Nike sends me an ad saying, “Hey Daniel! We have the best golf shoes ever. If you get a pair you’ll be able to show the competition you don’t mess around!” This probably wouldn’t convince me to get a new pair of golf shoes. But let’s say my friend… oh, Tiger Woods, says I should buy them, that would probably be a little more convincing than the company actually making these shoes.

The third, and last, tactic I’d like to address is about differentiation. PR is all about showing potential buyers, clients and customers how you are different – and better – than the competition. Obama had the slogan of “Change.” The word change, itself, calls to listeners telling them something different will happen. Differentiation was easy for Obama. He’s an African-American, Democratic, young, hip guy wanting to change pretty much everything George Bush has been doing for the past eight years.

For McCain, differentiation is a lot more difficult. He’s an older, Caucasian, republican who does want to change some Washington DC practices, but because he’s a republican, a lot of the policies will be the same. A common argument presented by Obama supperters was, “If we vote McCain, we’re going to basically have four more years of Bush.”

It doesn’t take a genius to tell you American moral is a little low; lower than it was 8 years ago. The economy isn’t doing so hot, there is a war going on and Lost doesn’t start until January. People really want things to change; to be different. Republicans and democrats are ready for change. I don’t think any republican could’ve won the presidential election with Barack Obama as the democratic nomination. While I think Mitt Romney would’ve been able to differentiate himself from Bush better than McCain (due to his extensive knowledge of the economy, sweet hairdo and young looks), I DON’T think even he could’ve beat Obama.

So to sum it up, I think it was a pretty intense election. PR is all about telling stories and I think Obama told his story better than McCain. The fact that McCain is just learning how to use the internet doesn't help either. The polls prove that. B & J both did a good job at utilizing social media but Barack definitely did a good job. But hey, John is still learning how to use the internet. Maybe he’ll do better in four years.

* Al Gore didn’t really invent the internet.

That is one tasty burger

2008-11-10T11:17:00.000-08:00

One thing you should know about me is that I love my meats! If you haven’t read my slogan on delicious meats you can view it here. That, however, is a post that shall follow in the near future.

So the other day I was assigned the task of making supper. I proceeded to take forth one package of ground beef from our freezer and begin the dinner-making process. I started defrosting said meat and realized, “This is one pound!” I begun to do math!

As you can see, simple math quickly told me I should make two hamburgers from 1 pound of ground beef. So I started cooking.

Here’s the outcome:

It can be a little hard to understand this picture, so I asked Emi to take a close up. I then graphically enhanced the picture for your viewing ease:
Once again, you can see that this yielded exciting results.

The creation included meat, sautéed mushrooms and onions, cheese and tomato; all the daily food groups!

Halloween 2008

2008-11-06T15:18:00.000-08:00

In the distant future I predict there will be a robotic uprising! For this reason – and perhaps a sliver of badassness – Emi and I decided to create robot costumes for Halloween. Now, I don’t say dress up because we didn’t do it to have fun. We did it to prepare for the time when robotic beings rule the world.

You see, when the robots come now Emi and I will fit in with them and their robotic ways. Meanwhile, most of you – with the exception of a few of my professors who sounded like robots – will be killed, assimilated, vaporized and terminated.

Being a robot isn’t easy. It takes hard work and normal daily humanoid tasks can prove to be difficult.

But as a robot I learned that it take more than some greasy face paint and a card board box to be successful. It takes…

Dancing.

On top of everything, I won $100 for my awesome costume at The Summit Group’s costume contest. I was up against tough competition, but I think Bill Paulos, Partner and Owner of TSG, cheated so I’d win. Afterwards he asked me to help him make a robot costume too! I said, “If it includes a raise, and if you fire Aaron Walker, then ‘Yes!’”

Poor John. Poor, poor John.

2008-11-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

Well, this year's election is now over. Barack Obama is now the President Elect and will be inaugurated on January 20th.

I don't know how to really sum up my feelings about this year's election. This is the first time I've really followed the campaigns and I wasn't really excited about any of the candidates. McCain said he could see us in Iraq for a hundred years. Obama wants to socialize medicine. Neither of them really seemed to represent me.

Even Ariel Defa(y), one of my most politically charged friends from high school wasn't passionate about either candidate. So while so many people I know didn't really care or get excited, how are so many people caught up in this Obamamania?

All-in-all, I think the next four years should be fairly interesting. I am definitely glad that this thing isn't president!

I think Obama will do a decent job. Even Aaron Walker, who worked for FEMA and whose voice can be featured in this video, said he got the chills when hearing Barack give his acceptance speech. I did too. I don't know who couldn't. It is pretty amazing how many African-Americans who in their younger years still faced segregation have now lived to see the first African-American president of the United States take office.

Hell Clog

2008-10-02T15:42:00.000-07:00

So last night we had a minor sing clogging issue. This is not the first time this has happened. Last time we let it sit for a couple of days until someone else’s hair started to come up from the dark abyss I call the drain. This time I said I would not stand for this clog’s shenanigans. I said to aforementioned clog, “You’re dark sided! Get out of my house!”

Now, the University Village’s amenities are somewhat lacking. The walls are thin and at times you can hear your neighbor’s voices. In addition, our sinks join in with our neighbors so when one clogs, they both clog. Maintenance doesn’t like to help either. So I decided to take action and protect my family from the Hell Clog that plagued our bathroom sink.

About a month ago I broke our broom – yesterday that turned out to be a good thing. I took the broom handle, which is kind of like a pipe, and stuck it down into the sink’s drain. I plugged around the handle with a rubber glove and with all my windbag talents I blew. I blew like the wind itself and from below I heard a death gurgle.

So. I. Blew. Again!

This time I heard a different gurgle. So. I. Blew. Again!

This time I heard a more different gurgle followed by a muffled “What the ____?” (I couldn't hear the last word he said)

So I blew one last time and my breaths were followed by an even more different gurgle/spray followed by another vocal noise, the stomping of feet and the slamming of a door.

I looked at Emi, who witnessed all of this, and we both got a little nervous, thinking our neighbor would come try to fight us or something. Luckily no one came to our front door with a shovel or any other dangerous objects.

Emi felt bad, but I didn’t. I mean this guy is probably washing all sorts of crud down the sink that doesn’t belong there. Hey may even be a pirate. Who knows? Last time the sink was clogged by his hair so maybe a little wetness in his bathroom will teach him to not be such a… as my brother-in-law said, Douche!

Because we didn't take any pictures of the event, I drew a on a Post-it Note during a meeting today.

Celebrities are Cool

2008-10-02T12:53:00.000-07:00

I guess I'll vote because they told me to!

Hey Doc, I mean Bishop...

2008-10-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

As part of my job I monitor news outlets to see if clients received media coverage. Every now and again I see someone I know on TV or in the paper.

Today it was my bishop, John Doty, talking about the use of stem cells to repair kidneys.

Stem cells are gewd!

Another funny one the other day was Mike Sorensen talking about gas prices. The only differnece is that this one was probably not the Mike

A few more pictures from antelope hunting

2008-09-26T10:45:00.001-07:00

Skylined Antelope

Mike

BFF - Ron and John

SORENSEN POWER!!!!

Tasty Murder

2008-09-25T15:08:00.001-07:00

Over this past weekend I went antelope hunting with my dad. Now, for those of you who don’t know my dad, he’s basically killed every type of animal in North America. He has stories of trapping every thing from foxes to eagles! Who traps eagles? I guess it was an accident and the Fish and Game let it go, but pretty impressive nonetheless. Now if that doesn’t tell you the kind of hunter he is then… you probably shouldn’t read the rest of this blog.

Anyway, Mike, my brother, and I drove to Rock Springs, Wyoming, Friday night to meet my dad and his hunting buddy Ron Taylor. We woke up ridiculously early the next morning, ate breakfast and began the official hunt. We spotted a bakers dozen antelope within 10 minutes on the road, including these fine specimens.

Over the next 8 hours we spotted nearly 1,000 antelope, searching for the one to slay. Toward the end of the day we went to a little place I like to call Antelope Alley. This is where I shot my antelope last year and Ron’s daughter, Jenny, shot hers the year before. Upon arriving here, we spotted herds and herds of antelope. After a small hike and a short drive I spotted a pretty nice looking buck and told my dad it was a shooter. Mike confirmed this and we began trying to get him to shoot it. Dad resisted. I’m pretty sure he would’ve shot every antelope in that valley if he could’ve.

The next day we went straight to Antelope Alley. We saw a few HUGE bucks but couldn’t get close enough to shoot any. I offered to shoot the antelope for my dad, but he just glared at me and said no. We hunted until about 2:30 p.m. and just as we were giving up hope my dad saw an antelope with a horn growing sideways out of its head. The horn was so messed up it was nearly growing parallel with the ground. My dad told Ron to drive down there to see if it was worth shooting. We all told him not to and as he was making his final decision we spotted another antelope less than 100 yards away. We yelled to my dad that it was pretty nice, he set his sight and shot.

The Antelope is beautiful.

All in all it was a successful hunt. Look at the smile on my dad's face below. He looks like a kid in a candy store.

Now, my dad would try to tell you this isn’t true (besides being a hunter he is also a liar) but the antelope he shot was the same one Mike and I tried to get him to shoot the day before! Crazy, but true! Mike confirmed it. The moral of this story is, “Dads, listen to your boys. They know what’s best and will end up saving you a lot of time in the long run.”

Tweetness

2008-09-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

So working in the PR industry requires you to stay up with the latest in Web 2.0 discoveries and technology. One of my most recent discoveries is Twitter.

You see, I'm not too good at blogging because I have to write a lot of stuff, then include photos and wrap it up in a nice neat package. Twitter, however, is quick, dirty and easy. You log on whenever you want and update your status and check the status of others. You can then reply to others and see what's going on with them. Basically it's like blogging but on a quantity - as opposed to quality - level.

You can see some of my updates here.

A Couple Cool Photos

2008-09-16T15:44:00.001-07:00

As I was looking through some old files I came across some cool photos.

creepy tunnel in San Juan /// High on a Mountain Top/// Thumbs up still cool in SCUBA

I also really like this picture because I'm wearing a cool woot shirt which features a skull hamburger and I'm licking my fingers.

The life of a real Mountain Man

2008-09-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

Over Labor Day weekend, Emi and I went to a real mountain man rendezvous at Fort Bridger Wyoming. We left the Thursday before Labor Day and came home that Monday. Now, words don't really describe what a rendezvous is really like. For this reason, we took lots of pictures.

They will tell this story.

Dan and Emi (Mountain Man Style)

Teton Todd cooking some delicious ribs

Nick carrying water

Mountain Baby

Shawn Webster

Angela Cardon

Teton Todd and Emi

Chris and Minako

Amanda, Emi and Mountain Baby

Mountain Man Breakfast

Dan and Angela sitting by the camp fire

This is me looking through Leo's beads. Leo
is the bead man to talk to if you are looking for
antique beads. He gets them from the African traders.

This is me checking out some sweet beads. Check out the cool
leggings and moccasins I made with my own two hands

This is a trade demonstration I helped out with. I was
Trade Goods assistant. Note the sweet tepee in the background.

This is an exchange of beaver hides. The currency of
any mountain man. They are checking the quality of the hides.

So all in all, it was an awesome weekend. Besides the snow, rain and hail that came on Labor Day Monday, it was a great time. There were all sorts of booths and demonstrations going on throughout the weekend. I even watched a real live blacksmith pound some metal. To top it all off we saw some pretty awesome dogs.

These dogs are just chillin' This dog's name was Kitty

Creepy....

Eat this Alanis Morissette

2008-08-13T13:15:00.000-07:00

The other day Emi and I were driving down the freeway and a classic song by Alanis Morissette, Ironic, began to play on the radio. We continued to discuss the song and Emi reminisced to a time when she was 12-years-old. Emi mentioned that she and her friend were being driven by her friend’s dad and that time this same song began to play. While listening to the song, she asked her friends dad to define the term “ironic.” She said it wasn’t easy for him, but he did the best he could.

This is how I’d define “ironic:”

Thanks, Aaron Walker, for the picture. I guess I was wrong about you... You aren't a total doucher!

Man doth not live by bread only...

2008-07-29T09:04:00.000-07:00

Why you SHOULDN'T break into our house!

2008-07-23T15:36:00.000-07:00

As many of you readers know, my idea of gun control is using both hands. I love guns and gun accessories. Below are a few reasons not to break into our apartment.

Yeah, that's some serious stuff!

Not only do I delight in the bearing of arms, so does my wife, Emi.

When you hold the gun above your head it means you are cool.

...we are cool.

Tactical back-to-back position to fight off enemies (or zombies) in all directions.

This is me shooting with my FS 2000 at about 50 yards. I shot all these holes in this target in about 30 seconds.

Heeeere's Danny!!!!!!

2008-07-16T06:31:00.000-07:00

I am back online. Getting married is a lot like... I don't know. It makes you really busy because when you come home you have to clean your house and make dinner. Plus your wife sometimes wants to talk. What's the deal with talking? Anyway, I've rededicated myself to blogging. I am going to be much better from this day forward.

As summer comes, I've done so many awesome things! Last weekend included, 4-wheeling, camping, fishing, and bonfiring in Mayfield, Utah. It was quite the time. We camped out in front of our families cabin.

Saturday we came home and I went to Alex Springer's bachelor party. It was quite the geek fest. I even parted my hair to fit the bill. We played Rock Band and Star Wars risk.

Sunday we went to Emi's mission president's homecoming and to Chelsea Nelson's farewell party. Chelsea is going to Seattle, in fact, she's probably there right now! But she will be missed in Utah. Chelsea is one of the most adventurous people in the world and one of my best friends. She's made me a better person. Congratulations Seattle!

Anyway, life is great! Getting married is pretty cool and fun. I recommend it to anyone who is in love.

Mind blow in Grand Central Station

2008-06-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

My sister, Stacy, recently posted a cool video on her blog which reminded me of this video I watched a while back.

An Ode to Paul

2008-06-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

A fellow co-worker, Scott Duehlmeier, recently showed me a hilarious YouTube video. It quickly spread around the office and everyone, including my boss, fell in love.

Now, my boss Paul really likes this video. I think 10,000 of the nearly 300,000 views are his. So, without further delay, here is the funniest video of June 2008.

I have a lot of catching up to do, so over the next few days keep checking back and you will witness awesome posts such as:

● Emi, you found WHAT in the garbage can?!?!
● Gelato: Magik in a cup
● More wedding pictures
● Apartment Revamped
● Jump Rope: It's not just for kids!

Radio From Hell with Kerry, Bill and Gina

2008-05-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

As many of you heard – either on the actual program or through my blog – yesterday I was on X96’s morning show, Radio from Hell. The crappy thing is I had to wake up before 6:00 a.m. to get there but the good thing is I went to bed early so it wasn’t too big of a deal (Alex Springer came with me as my friend, so shouldn’t complain about waking up early because he had to wake up earlier than I). The morning show started off with “Bulls on Parade” by Rage Against The Machine. At that time I realized it would be a good day.

They RFH guys began by asking me some standard questions about myself. Where was I born, if I am married, how many guns I own and whether I look like anyone famous – you know, the usual. When they found out I owned 13 guns they unofficially named me as the “BFOP with the most guns.” That meant a lot to me. At this time Charlene Wallace e-mailed Kerry, Bill and Gina pictures of me shooting guns. Bill was intrigued and asked me about several other pictures, such as Franky Quinny’s sword swallowing scar and the haunted cabin.

As the show went on I became more and more impressed by the behind-the-scenes choreography. Kerry looked like John Phillips Sousa as time and time again he played an awesome sound bite that went along with the shows events. He later informed me he creates each and every one of the sound segments from shows he watched the night before. Needless to say I was in awe. I still don’t see how the morning show flows so freely. While everything is literally adlibbed, it seemed seamless and smooth.

Some noteworthy things: Gina was not wearing sweat pants, or a jogging suit. Bill has huge calves and clearly likes to show them off. Kerry painted his toe nails black (Was this because I was coming in? I don’t know but I’d like to think so.) The word gullet was used. When off air, there seems to be a no-talking-rule between Kerry, Bill and Gina. Gina is very nice and considerate and seemed to be making sure we were having fun. Before going on, everyone told me Kerry is kind of a jerk, but I thought he was a perfect gentleman. A month ago Alex had told me he ran into Bill at his work. Bill, I think, recognized Alex and asked him where he worked. Alex proceeded to tell him he worked at Art Tix and started recounting the story where he ran into Bill and helped him with a ticketing problem he had. Before he could get into it, Bill interrupted him and began to recount the story exactly as it happened. I was pretty impressed that Bill could recognize Alex after so long.

The show ended with me presenting them with a plethora of candies I brought in. At that moment Emi called in and all five of us had a good chat. They then thanked me for coming in and I was able to creep them out by saying, "Thanks for having me... FRIENDS!" Bill then replied, "Man, you're kind of goofy!"

So all-in-all, yesterday was awesome! Let's be honest; any day I get to creep out a local celeberty is a good day!

Good, Great, Grand and Wonderful

2008-05-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

As many of you may have noticed, I haven’t posted on my weblog for quite sometime. Being as I have received death threats for failing to do so, I’ve decided to spend the rest of my work day enlightening you all on how awesome my life is.

1. I’m married. That’s pretty awesome for more than just the obvious reasons. Emi is a pretty awesome broad and I’m lucky to have won her over. We got married on May 9, 2008 and our wedding proved to be one for the books. It rained a little bit, but the overcast made for awesome pictures. Also, it was wee bit blustery, but that made Emi’s dazzling dress and veil look even more awesome than it actually was.

Our reception was at This is the Place Monument, which was an excellent location. I recently found out Emi and I won Best Dressed - an award many desire but few receive.

The luncheon was pretty great as well. Kudos go to Emi’s friends who played the harp and the violin. Best voice of the day goes to Eric Jones who sang all of “Forever in Blue Jeans”. Most touching toast was a tie between Alex - who told about the time I sprayed Pam on the kitchen floor in attempts to make my sister fall – and Rusty – who told about the time we pranked Jim, my uncle. Unfortunately Jim hadn’t figured out it was us and may press charges. My Aunt Susan’s table won rowdiest table of the luncheon because of their loud laughter, chants and taunts.

2. We went on a cruise and won a couple’s massage. This is yet another instance of Sorensen Power. I’ve never really had a massage quite like it. I felt rejuvenated afterwards, but the next day we landed in San Juan - land of cats - walked a few miles and my feet hurt again.

3. I got a new desk at work. I’ve moved from the basement to the main floor. No more creaky floors for me! Now sunlight actually touches my desk and I’m beginning to regain my natural skin tone. It’s pretty luxurious. I still make the same amount, but I like to consider this a promotion.

4. On Wednesday, May 28, 2008, I’ll be on X96 as their best friend of the program. I just hang out and they feed me breakfast.

5. I’m graduated! I made it! I now have a Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication – Public Relations. It feels pretty good. I just checked my grades and I did pass all my classes too!

So yeah, life is good. I’m pretty awesome and it’s summer. Man, I love being an American.

Man, I love the second amendment!

2008-05-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

Bachelor Party/Striking Similarities

2008-04-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we had my bachelor party. It was a pretty good time. There was a pretty big turn out. We had about 20 guys over the course of the evening.

We started off by going shooting. We began by shooting up an old computer. It was like out of Predator when they mow down part of the jungle with a mini gun. In addition, we shot about 400 clay pigeons and Alex's old VCR!

After that, we went to Hooters for some delicious wings! Yes, we went there for the food! After the ladies found out it was my bachelor party they all signed a T-shirt and started clapping and made me hoola-hoop while they sung some song which talked about how marriage was stupid. At the end they yelled ".... look at what you could've had!" To which I yelled, "You haven't seen my finance!*" They then began to tell me how rude that was. I thought it was a great finish to a so-so plate of wings. Plus, it was cool to zing the hooters girls!

Last, but not least, we went to Alex Quinny's and watched Predator . Man, that show was awesome. We were talking about how not many of us had seen it from beginning to finish, but we had seen about the whole thing during various Saturday afternoon movie specials.

After Predator , we watched the Jazz claim a close victory over the Houston Rockets, brining the series to 3-1. Man, the Jazz are awesome!

A side note, I think I see a striking resemblance between Duke and Ripcord and myself. You tell me...

Duke

Ripcord

Doomsday

* I stick by this comment!

Jimmy Eat World

2008-04-16T22:29:00.000-07:00

On Monday I had the opportunity to go to Jimmie Eat World for free. Many people claim that free concerts always taste better. Let me tell you, the legends are indeed true! I love Jimmie Eat World, but to go to their concert for free was even better than paying to go.

Emi is also a big Jimmie fan, but has never seen them in concert. When she told her little sister Mari about scoring tickets, Mari began to cry and said "it wasn't fair." I'm still not sure what, exactly, wasn't fair... But I laughed at the thought of her crying. Am I an evil person? No. I am merely human.

Paramore opened up for J.E.W. and I came across a guitar pick from their show while waiting for Jimmie to come out and play. I gave it to Emi so she could rub it into her sister's face. In addition, Emi got a Jimmie Eat World set list from Leif, a friend of mine who happens to run the lights for the band.

Leif also got a shout out during the show by the band. It was pretty cool. All in all, the concert was awesome! Leif did a great job on lights. One could not ask for a better lighting technician. It really was pretty interesting to watch him work his magic.

All-in-all the concert was a good time! Hell, it was free and concerts don't get much better than free!

Leif at work... he's kind of a big deal...

Wha' happened?

2008-04-11T06:30:00.000-07:00

I began this post wondering, what happened to one of my favorite bands of all time: Prodigy? After contemplating the essence of rock and roll, and how said rock and roll sometimes seems to devour bands alive until they are nonexistent, I thought of a few other bands I'd tip my hat to. Here they are:

Prodigy: Man, these crazy Brits were awesome, edgy and innovative! Their techno-rock sounds left anyone in their path wanting more. One of their songs, featured below, was my theme song for a little while. The song basically sums up my entire childhood.

This song, Firestarter, spoke to me on a deep level and was the catalyst in many of my teenage pyrotechnics.

The Cranberries: This is one of the first bands I fell in love with. An Ode to My Family was usually playing as I battled my way though wastelands, deserts and ice realms in Warcraft II (which also changed my life for the better)!

They are also the first band I ever stuck up for. I remember someone telling me that the song Zombie was so stupid because, "Why did it say Zombie?" I quickly defended them, saying, "They're not saying Zombie. They're saying something else." But, as we all know, they really were saying Zombie, and I now know that. Nonetheless, I put my 12-year-old self out on the line, which says something.

The rest of No Doubt: Now, I'm not talking about the first love of my life, Gwen Stefani, I'm talking about the other dudes. They kind of got ripped off. Now Gwen is making gillions on her solo-fashion-designer-glam-rock and where are these guys? Probably doing cocaine lines off a public toilet.

I bet Tony, ex-No-Doubt-Stefani lover, feels depressed about the whole deal because now Gavin is living the posh life.

Anyway, I guess they're probably all living off their millions because I'm sure they properly invested their earnings.

S.C.U.B.A.

2008-04-09T06:42:00.000-07:00

So last Saturday Emi and I began our SCUBA training. Through a friend of a friend we got a pretty sweet deal and decided to do it for our honeymoon, which will occur at an undisclosed location in the caribbean (the last thing I want is for people I know to be there too). For our training we had to read a book and take six tests. The final test - which was 50 questions - was a comprehensive test of the entire book. I was pretty nervous taking it, but felt pretty good after it was done.

Upon finishing I gave my test to Ben, our instructor. He gave it back to me and told me I got 100%! That's how awesome I am! I got 100% on my SCUBA test!

So every now and again as Emi and I are driving I like to remind her how I got such a good grade on my test. Usually I say something like, "Remember when I got 100% on my SCUBA test." To which she replies, "Um... yeah." Then I say, "That was pretty awesome of me!"

Other instances go as follows:

Emi: Guess what"
Dan: I got a hundred on my SCUBA test?
Emi: Actually no....
Dan: But I did! Remember? I didn't miss any!
Emi: GET OVER YOURSELF!!!

Dan: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Emi: YES! Arby's.
Dan: No, I'm thinking about how I dominated that SCUBA test Jackie Chan style!
Emi: Get out of my car!

So yeah, everyone agrees that I'm awesome at taking SCUBA tests. With out further adu, here are some SCUBA diving dogs !

Rapper Snoop Dogg Converts to Mormonism

2008-04-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

This is a Story I found on CNN Entertainment. I guess anyone really can be converted! Does that make his music okay for missionaries to listen to?

Rapper Snoop Dogg Converts to Mormonism

Snoop Dogg says he "can't get enough of the Book of Mormon."

By Aaron Nichols
CNN

DIAMOND BAR, California (AP) -- In what some may consider an unexpected move, rap artist "Snoop Dogg" has reportedly converted to Mormonism after nearly a year of study with the fast-growing, Utah-based faith.

In a statement, a spokeswoman for Snoop Dogg -- whose real name is Calvin Broadus -- said he considers himself extremely fortunate to have discovered such a deep sense of spiritual fulfillment at this stage in his life.

“Mr. Broadus is also very pleased to find that his family is as enthusiastic about attending church services as he is,” the spokeswoman said.

However, Snoop Dogg has not been enthusiastic about publicly sharing his experience and declined to be interviewed by CNN for this article. In fact, he reportedly informed producers of his E! reality show "Snoop Dogg's Father Hood" that this particular aspect of his family's life was off-limits to the cameras. Still, he left open the possibility of addressing the subject in future episodes.

According to the Associated Press, Snoop Dogg was first introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as the Mormon Church is officially known, after attending a Gladys Knight concert in an LDS meeting house in Los Angeles.

Knight, who very publicly discusses her conversion to Mormonism several years ago, invited Snoop Dogg to what is known to the Mormon faithful as “Family Home Evening,” a church program that encourages families to set aside Monday evenings for gospel-centered lessons and family togetherness.

Though Snoop Dogg has been hesitant to publicly discuss his recent spiritual journey, he commented on the experience of attending his first “Family Home Evening” in a recent interview with People Magazine.

“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”

In what Snoop Dogg now thinks was anything but a coincidence, Mormon missionaries had knocked on his door just one week before the Knight concert. He said he had initially turned them away because of what he knew about the strict Mormon health code, which prohibits members from smoking, drinking alcohol, and using drugs.

“Y’all know me,” he said grinning broadly. “There were just certain things the old me -- the "natural man" -- needed to do. And these young guys are telling me that God’s not down with disrespecting ourselves. But it’s cool now.”

Snoop Dogg said his conversion marks the end of his old life, one that included frequent run-ins with the law. Snoop Dogg was convicted in 1990 of cocaine possession and charged with gun possession after a 1993 traffic stop. In 1997, he pleaded guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence.

In 1996, Snoop Dogg was acquitted of murder after a purported gangbanger was killed by gunfire from the vehicle in which Snoop Dogg was traveling.

Snoop Dogg dismisses critics who claim his conversion is intended to placate a Salt Lake County judge, before whom he is appealing an alleged probation violation.

“Listen, the haters will say what they will,” Snoop Dogg said. “I can only do what I feel is right.”

_______________________________________________

True Dat Snoop Dog, True Dat!

Li'l bruder

2008-03-28T10:26:00.000-07:00

An Ode to Sprinkle Spangles

You know who you are.

My Grandma

2008-03-20T08:41:00.001-07:00

I think this picture pretty much explains itself!

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

2008-03-18T20:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday!

It was a successfully awesome day!

On top of all the other awesome gifts I received Fruit Flowers from Emi and let me tell you... they were delicious.

I will tell you, being born on St. Patricks Day is pretty awesome! I highly recomend it!

Love? Why?

2008-03-13T22:32:00.001-07:00

Why does Emi love me?

Oh wait, because I'm so awesome and sexy-like! That's Right!

The things parents say

2008-03-12T07:06:00.001-07:00

The following is a conversation that happened after dinner on Sunday. Reader discretion is advised!

Stewart Brough: So I got a new calling at church. I'm Assistant (to the) Scout Master! Man, I'm excited! I remember when I was a young scout.... (doddledo doodle do doodledo) so this lady was a total douche bag.

Valerie Sorensen (my mom): She was a what?

Sorensen Clan: Come on Stewart. Yeah Stewart. Grandma is here.

John Sorensen: Yeah, I can imagine it now. 'You kids are going to have a fun time. Don't go being DB's though. You don't know what that is but I'll tell you later but don't tell your parents!'

Sorensen Clan: Chuckles

So apparently my dad knows what a "DB" is. I was so happy and confused all at the same time. I think that's the definition of a mind fudge!

Wedding Update!

2008-03-12T06:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went and visited the lady who is doing our cake. She's an old friend of my mom's. Let me tell you... it was quite the experience. Here are a few things that were ridiculous about the ordeal:

She called me Daniel the entire time!
She said the cake would be "too heavy."
After picking the cake out, we had to stay like 20 minutes and talk about everyone in the ward.

Emi and I ended up leaving before my mom did. I just looked at them and said, “well we’re going now” and Emi and I awkwardly exited the scene.

Anyway, I’m glad that’s over with….

As a side note, the wedding date is in less than two months!

What kind of relations?!

2008-03-03T12:55:00.000-08:00

As you faithful readers know, I recently sold my soul to work in the PR industry. It has been a good time so far. I even have business cards! The person who designed my business cards is the same person that designed my signature, which is featured below. As you will see there are two versions. Nonetheless, one of these things is not like the other thing. One of these things doesn’t belong. Can you guess which thing is not like the other thing, before I finish my song?

Barry, will you be my bondsman?

2008-02-29T15:44:00.000-08:00

Grand Jury Member: "With all the money you make, have you ever thought of maybe building (Greg Anderson, your trainer) a mansion or something?"

Barry Bonds: "One, I'm black. And I'm keeping my money. And there's not too many rich black people in this world. And I'm keeping my money. There's more wealthy Asian people and Caucasian and white. There ain't that many rich black people. And I ain't giving my money up. That's why."

Barry Bonds, you are awesome!

What's the deal with Chuck Norris?

2008-02-29T07:26:00.001-08:00

This is not fabricated in any way at all. Check the web address.

The Perfect Storm

2008-02-25T06:58:00.000-08:00

…time cards, he has to sign these every Friday. Purchase orders have to be approved at the end of every month. And expense reports, all he has to do is initial these at the end of every quarter. But once a year, it all falls on the same Friday and that's today. I call it the Perfect Storm.
- Pam Beasley

Similar to Michael Scott, I have recently suffered what one might call a Perfect Storm. As you all know, I recently started a new job at The Summit Group. TSG has been pretty awesome so far, not to overwhelming but it’s always crazy starting a new job! In addition, I’ve been semi-busy with school. As always in academics, things get busy then you have a break. In addition, to top off my stormy life with a cherry, I am officially announcing I am engaged! Crazy, I know, but it’s pretty awesome so far!

So, I’ll start with most important news first: The Lady.

Emi, my fiancé, is pretty awesome! We have been engaged for about 2 weeks or so. She’s also from Riverton and we met through some mutual friends a couple of years ago. She recently returned from a mission to Japan.

We are going to be married on May 9, 2008. It will be a day to be remembered! I think we’re going to have cannons and stuff.

So that's my excuse for not posting in a while. I will try to be a better blogger. I’d like to make promises, but they could turn out to be empty so I will not do so.

Super Rad!

2008-02-01T09:03:00.000-08:00

Recently, I have rediscovered one of my favorite bands in high school: The Aquabats. Their surfer-laced ska music has changed my life in a way that few bands have. How could songs such as Powdered Milk Man, Captain Hampton and the Midget Pirates, Magic Chicken, Chemical Bomb, and Cat With 2 Heads not change a impressionable teenager's life? The Aquabats helped me realize the awesomeness of midgets, especially those of pirate nature. They helped me comprehend that sometimes a man itches, and when he does he's gotta scratch... Through their music I gained a deep love for dogs. I think Commander Bat said it best when he sang, "Canis Lupus, man's best friend for many centuries. Dogs are way sweet! WAY SWEET!"

I agree!

I remember wishing Martian Girl from Planet V would really come down and let me run my hands through her sexy blue hair. I also remember catching a piece of extra crispy at one of their concerts. It fudged my mind!!!

The funny thing about rediscovering new bands is how songs that you previously sometimes become your new favorites. With the Aquabats, I remember I hated this song called Attacked by Snakes! with the fire of a thousand suns. Now, it gets me super pumped to kill snakes!

Through out the day I will be updating this blog with my favorite Aquabats lyrics.

Here are a couple to get you started:

Pinch and Roll, Pinch and Roll,
Everybody do the Pinch and Roll, Pinch and Roll,
If you’re itchy do the Pinch and Roll, Pinch and Roll,
We don’t scratch we do the Pinch and Roll, Pinch and Roll.

Cantaloupes and cowboy ropes. Hone those whittling skills

I kept it in a box. I watched it grow a lot. It chewed right through the lock, And ate all the new kids on the block.

You're ignorant. It's knowledge you lack. You gotta fight everything you can, A big puffy head, You're the Marshmallow Man

"Straight outta Compton" Is your battle cry, But you're from a suburban track. Didn't your mom and daddy teach you, That ghetto stuff is really whack?

Chemical bomb, Chemical bomb. Eyes melt, Skin explodes, Everybody's dead. It won't be long. It won't be long. People gonna run around, Losing their heads. A river of blood, Who's gonna live? The earth is tired of human kind, And I think this world, Is gonna wash up in Hell.

Children I want to warn 'ya 'Cuz I've been to California, Where Mickey Mouse is a demon

One Hell of a Ride

2008-01-25T08:34:00.000-08:00

Last night I was fortunate enough to go see my first Sundance movie, Hell Ride. Basically, the name says it all.

The film is about two rival biker gangs - the Six-Six-Sixers and the Pistoleros - who are waging an all out biker war upon eachother. Their crazy antics include everything from burning each other alive, to bar fights, to peyote trips, to desert burials. Needless to say the three B's of motorcycle gangs were fullfilled: Bikes, Beer and Broads (not the actual word).

All-in-all it was a great movie. Larry Bishop, Michael Madsen and Dennis Hopper were all there to answer questions. I'm pretty sure Michael Madsen was drunk. He had his shirt part way tucked in and had the classic drunk look going on.

Vinnie Jones, also known as Bullet Tooth Tony, was in the movie as Billy Wings, the ring leader of the Six-Six-Sixers. He used a freaky air gun/crossbow which reminded me of the creepy weapon Anton Chigurh used in No Country for Old Men.

If you are looking to see a future cult classic before it goes mainstream, go see this movie. Whatever you do, don't take your mom.

Winner winner, chicken dinner...

2008-01-22T22:08:00.000-08:00

As many - if not most - of you know, I currently am working at ADP. During the last semester I was able to go on personal leave and focus mostly on school and gaining experience in the public relations industry, including being named Utah PR Student of the Year.

After that, many PR related doors were kicked open with extreme prejudice. For example one day I received a call out of the blue from The Summit Group. They tracked me down James Bond style. I interviewed but heard nothing... untill this past Tuesday.

This past Tuesday, I received an E-mail from the agency asking me to come interview. I did this very thing the following Friday and needless to say I dominated this interview. They told me I would hear their response the following Tuesday. Today I was offered the job. Yes friends, I will be working at the Summit Group starting February 4th. I feel super pumped and stoked... at the same time... in a row. Finally, things are turning up Millhouse!

Yea, and he had powers over their very stingers...

2008-01-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I went to the Kids Safety Fun Fair! Who knew fun and safe could ever be used in the same sentence?

Well things were not as safe as you might think. I mean in my book if you let small children hold scorpions that would not be a “safe” activity. Not just little tiny scorpions, but huge ones. Scorpions that would make the most manly of men shutter in fear!

I, delighting in unsafe activities, decided to hold one of these monstrous scorpions. It did not pinch me nor sting me but we became great friends! I dare say we bonded.

Sushi - Raw is the new cooked!

2008-01-03T09:18:00.000-08:00

For dinner on New Years Eve, I was fortunate to land reservations at a small sushi joint I like to frequent called Akasaka. It is pretty delicious (“it” being their sushi), but I recently discovered something that left me a little disenchanted: those who run Akasaka are not Japanese! Regardless of their race, they can roll some pretty good sushi.

What is it about raw fish that tastes so good!? It's as though part of the fish's soul is trapped in its raw meat. Sashimi is like butter, melting in your mouth, running its delectable juices all over your tongue saying, "Hi taste buds, nice to meet you!"

We ordered the Vegas Roll, which is the roll that took my sushi-virginity. I still remember the first bite of Vegas Roll going down my throat. I knew I was in love.

Despite the unfortunate news, it was a sweet night. I mean I'm 1/2 English, 1/2 Danish and 1/2 Irish and I can roll sushi with the best of them. If that's the case why should I be mad my sushi chef is not Japanese?

Movies I have seen recently

2007-12-21T23:58:00.001-08:00

There are three movies I have seen within the past week: I Am Legend, Juno, and Martian Child. I saw them in that order, but that is definitely not my order of favorites.

Juno was probably one of the funniest movies I have seen in ages. It is one of those comedies that merges humor with an intense and important life lesson. With hilarious characters such as Rainn Wilson (Dwight from The Office), Michael Cera (George Michael from Arrested Development) and Jason Bateman (Michael Bluth from Arrested Development), you were guaranteed success. The most hilarious person in the entire movie was Ellen Page, the girl who plays 17-year-old Juno McGuff. She was awesome in this movie! With noun-usage such as shanagans, baby related phrases such as "In China they are pretty much shooting babies out of those T-shirt guns" and classic, nostalgic, phrases such as "Thundercats are GO!" she was unstoppable.

This is a must see of the summer.

I am Legend was pretty boss. I loved every part of the movie, other than the scary monsters. They used CG monsters, but I feel they would've been much scarier if they were real (similar to the movie The Descent). See below:

Now, you may say, "Dan, that is a crappy picture of the I am Legend monsters." To which I reply, this is what they look like. Both pictures are of the same caliber compared with the rest of the movie. Also, there aren't any pictures of the IAL monsters on the internet. Probably because they realize how not scary they really are.

Martian Child was another hilarious movie. Not nearly as funny as Juno, but great nonetheless. In this, John Cusack plays a sci-fi writer who adopts a weird kid who thinks he's from Mars. I think I liked it because as a child, I was pretty weird myself.

I recommend seeing all three of these movies! You will not be let down.

Midget Hot Chocolate

2007-12-21T23:46:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went to a little shop which is commonly referred to as Midget Hot Chocolate.

I tell you, after drinking this hot chocolate I will never again be able to drink any other hot chocolate. It was divine and guaranteed to contain angel and/or baby tears. While drinking this hot chocolate, I felt as though I was drinking out of the chocolate river in Willey Wonka's Chocolate Factory. It literally tasted as though melted delectable chocolate was flowing down my throat. Never before have I said this, but I was smitten by my 10 oz of dark hot chocolate.

I would love to hear of your testimonials too.

And the winner is....

2007-12-15T15:41:00.000-08:00

About a month ago I created a poll regarding one of my most favorite past times: Destruction!

I have always loved to break stuff. I don't know why... It wasn't so much I liked having broken stuff, as it was I liked to test the limits and live on the edge.

And the fun of breaking stuff was sometimes an added bonus.

In my more recent years I have learned a variety of new destructive tactics such as... well, I'll plead the fifth. My poll addressed some of the most common, everyday methods of destruction. The results are as follows:

Fire 1
Explosions 7
Bullets 0
Baseball Bats 4
Other 2

So needless to say, explosions took the prize. Let's pay tribute to explosions with this picture.As for the runners up, I'm not sure what "other" things won two votes. The baseball bat was probably selected by Eli, and it's obvious Stewart, my brother-in-law, did not participate because bullets had zero votes.

Smiting Dragons in Finals Week

2007-12-15T09:32:00.000-08:00

This past week was finals week. That's why I haven't really written any awesome posts recently. I mean nothing awesome really happens in finals week unless you're Dan Sorensen, which I am!

Okay, nothing awesome really happened... The week t'was filled with semi-large amounts of studying and homework, topped off with me watching Arrested Development before bed to keep my tension low. I did study with a group of fellow classmates, but upon arriving at the study sesh, we soon realized that none of us knew the curriculum at all. We studied for about two hours and eventually gave up because we just didn't get it.

So far I have two A's. Yes, I am pretty much awesome. Let's hope I can get 3 more.... okay two more... one more? Yes, I have two A's

Could that be a Haiku?

Free ninety-nine

2007-12-10T08:51:00.000-08:00

A while back I discovered an awesome website which can be used for the good of man-kind. It is a propos to one of God's greatest gifts: musick.

The website is http://skreemr.com/

Now you may ask, what makes this website so special? Skreemr allows you to search the internet for .mp3 files for bands or songs you are looking for. Once you find songs you want you can download them to your computer and load them into your iTunes. This will allow you to get free .mp3’s off different websites; therefore saving you lots of money.

Best part is it’s totally legal.

Chips and Cokes

2007-12-05T22:17:00.000-08:00

At school, a friend and I have started a new club. This isn't like the other fake clubs I have started in the past (shining shamrocks). This club is actually taking shape and gaining in both fame and power!

The club is titled Chips and Cokes. Now you may say, “Dan, I am experienced in both chips and cokes… this is no new feat you have accomplished.” To which I reply these chips are no ordinary chips. They are Kettle Chips. I do believe that Kettle chips are sprinkled in both god dust and baby tears. They are divine! No other chip makes you feel as though you are eating an actual potato.

So our club has grown to 7 people now and that’s in only one week’s time. By my predictions we will soon be in all the major markets in the U.S. Please see my chart below to get a projected timeline of our success.

Professor Bergstrom, eat your heart out!

It's gig time... what T-shirt am I gonna wear?

2007-12-05T07:06:00.001-08:00

So finals are in town. I don't like it when they are in town. After today I will have only three more tests to take! I look forward to finishing this semester.

Now that school’s out for the winter I have quite the conundrum to address. I have all these PR firms wanting to offer me a job. As much as I love ADP, I would love to get a real job in the real world. I interviewed with the Summit Group and have another interview scheduled with SNG PR; both would be excellent firms to work for.

So here’s to hoping I don’t have to go back to ADP…

Let's burn this mother to the ground!

Word is Born

2007-11-29T19:24:00.000-08:00

About a week ago in my journalism class we discussed blogs. My teacher inquired if any of we students had blogs to which I replied, “yes!” After scrolling through my blog he passed my entry regarding Rage against the Machine.

At this moment he said, “Rage against the Machine? I hate that band”; a response which many older folks have used upon learning about my RATM passion. When I inquired as to the reasoning behind his hatred of Rage, he said he hated them, “Because they’re a bunch of anti-American idiots.” Once again, this was another typical phrase I have heard many times.

To fully understand this logic we must first understand what anti-American actually means. Anti, to my own understanding, is when you go against something, when you have an opposite point of view or when you hate something. Therefore, someone who is anti-American has views that are opposed to the American point of view.

Well then, what is the American point of view?

The great thing about America is you have a little something called the First Amendment. This little ditty allows any person to express their beliefs as long as they do it in an appropriate way. This was not originally a freedom in time past. Many martyrs have died because they did not agree with the government ruling (or oppression) in that particular time. For this reason our founding forefathers created the First Amendment. It allows citizens to police the government. America gives this freedom to every one of its citizens and that is the American point of view: Freedom.

If Rage against the Machine is anti anything, it would be anti-oppression, tyranny and totalitarianism. In fact the song “Know your Enemy” makes a short list of Rage’s enemies, saying, “Yes, I know my enemies, they’re the teachers that taught me to fight me. Compromise. Conformity. Assimilation. Submission. Ignorance. Hypocrisy. Brutality. The elite. All of which are American dreams.”

To me, a true American is an American who is not afraid to stand up and say “hey, that’s not right” when they see the government doing something they should not be doing. Samuel Adams explained this saying, “If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin."

While I do not agree with all that Rage has to say, I do agree with the fact that sometimes things need to be fixed and we, as Americans, have the civic duty to call upon our leaders and demand change. Through letter, through word, through song, we must demand change.

It is the duty of the patriot to protect his country from its government
--Thomas Paine

I had to crash that Honda....

2007-11-21T07:39:00.000-08:00

As many of you faithful blog readers remember, I recently hit a dead dear
while returning from Vegas.

Part of this deer's body still remains on my car.

I made this discovery while unloading my trunk; noticing what looked like bug spatters on my rear bumper. After further investigation I made a few more baffling discoveries.

Now, the crazy thing is that I crashed my Honda into the deer over three weeks ago. I have a feeling its parts will be with me for quite a while.

I am just happy I haven't been pulled over because of the blood splattering on my rear bumper! Although, that would be quite the encounter with the po-po.

To read the origional post regarding my crashing of my car, please click here.

NOTE: To get a real idea of how awesome this is you may need to click on the images.

Your vote is your voice

2007-11-12T22:04:00.001-08:00

So five of you think I am charming. That is the consensus of my first web log poll. I tend to agree. The count was actually six, but I didn’t count my vote. Three of my readers thought I was friendly and only one person felt I deserved the title of polished. Oh, wait, that one was also me...

Alas, no body thinks I’m professional. I DO agree with that, but that doesn’t mean I’m not awesome!

Vote on my new poll. What is your favorite method of destruction? I will not vote this time. We all know I cannot choose a favorite, for I love them all equally.

My weekend...

2007-11-12T11:10:00.000-08:00

This week was filled with awesome and crazy Sorensen antics!

Friday I purchased Guitar Hero III and beat it on medium. It is pretty awesome! You may say, "Dan, you don't even have a job! How did you afford to pay for it?" I would answer this question by saying, "I just put it on my credit card! I DIDN'T PAY FOR IT!"

No, actually I would say, "Hello friend, I paid for Guitar Hero with my $1,000 I won for being Utah PR student of the year!" Yes, I won the competition! It felt great to win, I will not lie.

Saturday a few friends and I went out to the west side of Utah Lake in order to keep the pumpkin population in check. We shot the living crap out of dozens of pumpkins with shotguns, AR-15's, pistols, and sniper rifles. Yes, we sniped the shit out of the pumpkins! My 4-year-old nephew, Eli Brough, made sure to do his part by continually hitting a pumpkin with a baseball bat for over an hour. When I asked him how it was going he said, "I'm just hitting this pumpkin. There's still a little more to hit." And he kept going. It was funny. Video will follow shortly.

Saturday night I went to a karaoke party filled with people I didn't know. I sang two hits - Forever in Blue Jeans and Shook Me All Night Long - both of which drove the crowds crazy! There were many songs by The Diamond, but I was the only one who dared tackle an AC/DC song! Chelsea Nelson tried to sign me up to sing Madonna, Like a Virgin, but I chickened out. Nelson you diabolical!

So yes, my life is awesome! Be my friend and you will succede.

Vegoose: Long over due!

2007-11-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

So a couple of weeks ago I went to
Vegoose, the hellraising concert event down in Las Vegas, Nevada. A plethora of awesome bands, such as Rage Against the Machine, came, played and rocked.

Here are my top three favorite bands of Vegoose:

1. Rage Against the Machine
Normally this type of post would start from three and move to one, but since anyone who knows me would already know how much I love this band, I felt it was pointless.
Rage rocked so hard! They changed our world as we know it by their musical performance. Before the show started we were about 50 feet from the stage, which was pretty close. Crowds killed time by spouting militant lyrics and bouncing condom balloons. The condom type could be determined by the size and shape of the condom. One of these condoms unfortunately popped on a man’s head. The gentleman was stoned out of his mind and was not happy about the situation.
Finally, Rage came out and began to rock the crowd’s face with its sweet rifts of rock. They played all my favorites, except Wake Up. I loved it. I have never been in such a crazy mosh pit. The energy Rage puts into their music could be felt throughout the entire city of Las Vegas. Tom Morellos’ guitar skills could probably cut through metal.
Local authorities were so frightened by these rock and roll guerillas they felt it necessary to have armed cavalry ready incase any riots broke out.

2. Golgo Bordelo
These crazy Ukrainians know how to rock with the best of them! Alex, Mike and I were fortunate enough to be front row during his performance. His rockability was augmented by sexy gypsies in football outfits wielding percussion instruments. Golgo opened up the Vegoose festival and might I say, I don’t think anyone could’ve done a better job.

3. Daft Punk
Daft Punk barely beat Muse for the number three spot. The thing that made Daft Punk blow so many minds is their exceeding of so many expatiations. I thought it would be cool, but the word cool does not do Daft Punk the justice they deserve. Their techno-robot powers rivaled the very Techno-Gods themselves. I am not a huge fan of techno, but mixing Daft Punks dub with a bind boggling light show gave them a number three on my list.

So yes, Vegoose changed my life! I can now die happy because I have seen Rage Against the Machine. My dad saw them a long time ago and I thought I'd never get the chance. Well, TAKE THAT DAD!

Three Awesome Dudes

My brain is broken: Part II

2007-11-07T09:08:00.000-08:00

As you probably remember, I have psychotic dreams because I'm partially crazy. Here is the latest instance. It was a dream of this girl Angie R., no, that's too obvious, We'll call her A. Robson.

In the dream we were at this restaurant, Salsa Leedos. We actually were both there last night with a big group of people. The following is an excerpt of an E-mail I sent her regarding the dream:

I hope this is crazy Angie from Salsa Leedos. I'm freaked out because your wild antics some how ventured into my dream last night.

I went to the movie theater with you guys after we left the restaurant. Sometime in the process you performed a wardrobe change and were now wearing some scantly clad garb. This attire did not cover up your extensive tattoo work. You had a big tattoo on your back of a face and other tattoos of other weird things.

This is not the disturbing part.

You also had weird pins on your back. At one point in the dream I hugged you for some weird reason (not that you’re not huggable, just I’m not sure of the circumstances), and while hugging you I saw the piercings that went through the skin on your back. I immediately freaked out, and when I un-hugged you a needle/piercing you had under the skin on your arm came out and fell to the ground.

You tried to calm me down saying it’s normal that your entire body was covered in piercings and needles. You had one through your wrist too (which some people actually do).

So we began walking down the theater hall and you told the story of how you came to disfigure your body when suddenly you took the needle that fell out and pierced my finger. It was so scary because I could feel the piercing going into my skin. Once the pain stopped, I looked down at my finger and sure enough, it had a needle in it
This is where I woke up.

I've been having lots of dreams recently, almost every night - something I'm not used to. I don't mind, I just am curious as to why they are so wiggity whack...

The Darjeeling Limited

2007-11-05T19:55:00.000-08:00

Today, after school, I saw The Darjeeling Limited. I loved it! I love anything Wes Anderson. Here is how it rated on my list of Wes Anderson movies.

1. Bottle Rocket
2. The Royal Tenenbaums
3. The Darjeeling Limited
4. The Life Aquatic
5. Rushmore

I feel as though it was funnier than life Aquatic. Previously, I put it equal with The Royal Tenenbaums but after rigorous comparison and study it has been pushed down one notch. While Darjeeling Limited is very funny, it doesn't have as many hilarious characters as The Royal Tenenbaums.

The movie is about three brothers on a "spiritual journey" as Owen Wilson's character put it. The movie contains funny luggage, a cobra, bear mace, Natalie Portman's bum, fighting, bathroom lovin' and India.

If that doesn't make you want to see this movie, nothing will.

Spektor

2007-11-05T19:48:00.000-08:00

So I went to Regina Spektor this past Friday and in case you were wondering it was awesome! I thoroughly enjoyed it! She played all the greats and finished up with none other than Sampson. On a side note, did you know Sampson had dread locks? Yep, he did! Seven of them.
At one point in her show Regina told the crowd to "shut the f**k up," something I have never seen in my lengthy concert experience. At first I thought she was a bitty, but I came to realize that people were being pretty disrespectful.
Although, her anger against noise didn't keep me from singing. Nobody probably noticed because I have such a good voice.
Regina is a pretty musical human. At one point she was playing the chair next to her like a drum with one hand, playing the piano with her other hand stomping on the ground with her foot and singing. All of this was at the same time. It was a mind fudge!

Domination!

2007-11-03T23:26:00.000-07:00

As I so graciously stated before, I was selected as a finalist in the PRSA Student of the Year Competition, which was held today! Yeah, it was pretty exciting. We had to do a quadrathlon of public relations related events. In spite of fierce adversary, I dominated the competition! I feel pretty confident about my performance. The judges used words to describe me such as polished, professional, charming and friendly!

Hell, how could they resist my skills? I invite you to vote on my poll, which is located on your right!

Dead deer in the middle of the road....

2007-10-29T19:52:00.001-07:00

So this past weekend I went to Vegoose (a post regarding this event will shortly follow). We returned not so bright, but very early from Vegas.
The drive was great. I took over in Filmore at about 4:00 a.m. The drive was great. Not too many cars. I didn't feel tired at all and I was enjoying a medley of Regina Spektor, Frou Frou, The Ditty Bops and Imogen Heap. I saw about 3 dead deer off to the side of the road but didn't think much of it... I mean this IS Utah, right?
At about 5:15 or so, just as I am passing Santaquin, I spot yet another dead deer in the middle of the road. My mind starts making all these clicking sounds as though there is a series of processes occurring in my brain.

Process #1 - I could swerve... this didn't seem like such a good idea because I would have to swerve off the road, as there was someone in the other lane, and because I was going over an overpass swerving off to the side of the road would cause me to corinne over hte edge, which is not cool.

Process #2 - Change lanes. I did this before with deers 1-3, but since someone was in the other lane this was not so much an option.

Process #3 - Slam on the breaks and hope for the best. This did not seem like a good thing to do on a freeway.

Process #4 - Straddle the deer and try to drive over the thing. Although this did not seem logically possible (nor did it seem like a good idea) I hoped it would work and I went for it.

Process #4 was the winner. There was a very loud sound of scraping, which I thought was the deer being sanded into oblivion by the rough asphalt, so I pulled over. As I get out I immediately smell the stink of deer mixed with the "stench of death," as I described it.

I look under the car and see what looks like a round metal box. I feel it to see if I can push it, but it is fastened tight (and covered in deer-ness). This round metal box is also called a gas tank and mine was pulled off by the running over of the deer.

About 45 minutes and a few phone calls later, a tow truck arrives to tow us to "the nearest qualified location," which is not as cool sounding as it seems. He gets my Honda onto the back of his tow truck and Mike (my brother), Alex (my friend) and I (me) crowd into the cab of this tow truck and head on our way to "the nearest qualified location."

All-in-all I everything is okay. It sucks that it happened, becuase I don't have a job right now, but I think that the words of Launchpad McQuack ring true - "Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing." I'm just happy that I didn't swerve and cause us to flip and burn in a fiery furnace.

As for the deer; I walked back to see if I needed to move it off the road (since the previous driver didn't) but the only way I would've been able accomplish this is if I had a shovel and I didn't have one of those. Parts of him remain on my car (which I hope "the nearest qualified location" enjoys, but I will always thank him for not killing me and those I hold dear.

Corn Rows: Day # 2

2007-10-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

So most people don't dig the corn rows. They are kind of itching some times, but I think they are as cool as ever!

Most people wouldn't sit next to me on Trax today. When a guy found enough courage to do so, I was extra sure to be extra nice, as to provide good, positive PR for corn-row-enthusiasts!

My Dad trying to kiss me. Me trying not to laugh and act tough!

PRSA Competition

2007-10-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was informed I am a finalist in a competition in which I competed for the PRSA! I created a strategic plan for Tracy Aviary which focuses on attracting more visitors in the coming winter season.

On November 3rd I will present my plan to various PR officials from all over the SLC valley. I will be representing my school at the competition and could possibly win $1,000!

...basically, I'm kind of a big deal!

Corn Rows!

2007-10-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

Me with corn rows! I finally got them done for my rap career! Whatever you do, don’t mess with me! I am totally gangster!

I dreamed a dream!

2007-10-23T07:58:00.000-07:00

So lately I have been having weird dreams. On Sunday, I dreamed a dream which consisted of a series of three dreams. Here is how it started:

The dream began with me arguing with my brother Mike. We were fighting about something and I exploded and said, "Well, you know what? I'm sick of you always copying me! You are just jealous of how awesome I am!" To which he replied, "You want to know what your problem is? You like evil things, like that game where you play as the bad guys. (Referring to a video game I played called Dungeon Keeper, which was awesome, and you played the evil side. The slogan for the game was "Evil is Good".) At the end of the game you have to fight a flying skull with a pentagram on its head!" at which he looks up, stares into my eyes and holds his hand up to reveal a burned in pentagram on his hand. I say to him, "Do you have a problem with devil worshiping?" and he said, "YES BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!"

The dream cut out and instantly I was teleported to the house of this family I taught on my mission in Mexico. They were all really sad because as members of the church they were being killed and tortured.
I said, "Let’s go to the market," and we headed out. While at the market, I went into this back room and these kids were hitting this other guy I taught (who looked like Mr. Miagi from Karate Kid) with boards that had nails in them. He was screaming and I took the boards and hit the kids to get them to leave him alone.

So the family, the dude and I all left on the metro. We were riding around on it when suddenly porcupines began to emerge from the cracks in the train. Only like 2 or 3 came out but everyone started freaking out. We pulled the emergency stop on the train, but alas the doors would not open. After much struggle and effort the doors opened and I punted one of the porcupines out of the train. There was another porcupine under a chair on the metro. This guy kept trying to grab it but the spines kept sticking into his hand and he wouldn’t stop. So after a bunch of attempts to grab the porcupine he had over a hundred barbs stuck in his palm and looks at me freaking out.

Then I woke up.

What is wrong with my brain?!

First post!

2007-10-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

It's mine! I have created a blog! Now what will happen?! Good things? Bad things? Who knows? I can only say that it cannot be good.... Oh, I guess that means bad things will happen....

Me with some guns!