Thursday, October 2, 2008

Hell Clog

So last night we had a minor sing clogging issue. This is not the first time this has happened. Last time we let it sit for a couple of days until someone else’s hair started to come up from the dark abyss I call the drain. This time I said I would not stand for this clog’s shenanigans. I said to aforementioned clog, “You’re dark sided! Get out of my house!”

Now, the University Village’s amenities are somewhat lacking. The walls are thin and at times you can hear your neighbor’s voices. In addition, our sinks join in with our neighbors so when one clogs, they both clog. Maintenance doesn’t like to help either. So I decided to take action and protect my family from the Hell Clog that plagued our bathroom sink.

About a month ago I broke our broom – yesterday that turned out to be a good thing. I took the broom handle, which is kind of like a pipe, and stuck it down into the sink’s drain. I plugged around the handle with a rubber glove and with all my windbag talents I blew. I blew like the wind itself and from below I heard a death gurgle.

So. I. Blew. Again!

This time I heard a different gurgle. So. I. Blew. Again!

This time I heard a more different gurgle followed by a muffled “What the ____?” (I couldn't hear the last word he said)

So I blew one last time and my breaths were followed by an even more different gurgle/spray followed by another vocal noise, the stomping of feet and the slamming of a door.

I looked at Emi, who witnessed all of this, and we both got a little nervous, thinking our neighbor would come try to fight us or something. Luckily no one came to our front door with a shovel or any other dangerous objects.

Emi felt bad, but I didn’t. I mean this guy is probably washing all sorts of crud down the sink that doesn’t belong there. Hey may even be a pirate. Who knows? Last time the sink was clogged by his hair so maybe a little wetness in his bathroom will teach him to not be such a… as my brother-in-law said, Douche!

Because we didn't take any pictures of the event, I drew a on a Post-it Note during a meeting today.


18 comments:

Lamb Fam said...

I was unaware of the wonderful fact that you live in student housing. I have so much to add to this post!! I was a resident there for 3 fabulous years. All I'll say is I can relate. We need to get together & exchange stories. Ben and Val have a few classics, too.

Neal said...

Dear me! That was pretty freaking awesome. I wish I coulda seen it.

Emi Sorensen said...

I thought you knew!!! I know Dave knew. He should've told you. I'm glad you can relate. It's pretty insane. Ben's li'l bro lives up here too. Isn't that right Alex?

Emi Sorensen said...

And yes, it was awesome!

CitizenPain said...

It's true! Sheree and I have been living up at le Villege Universete for about a month now! And WE have hell clog problems too! Except our particular drain poltergeist vomits up unidentifiable gray goop that we have to clean out thrice a week! I recently bought some Drano to combat this beast, but I kinda like Danny's strategy.

sorensenpower said...

I think I'm going to invest in an air compressor.

Emi Sorensen said...

i DID feel bad but that doesn't mean i didnt think it was awesome....because believe me when i say-it was a "hell-a de-cloggin'" of a good time!! by the way- i didnt leave the other two comments...i just found out dan did under me....okay nevermind.

Ryan said...

Danny, I've always kind of...well...hated your guts and hoped for tragedy to befall you.

But then I read this post and now I think you're alright.

You're alright Danny.

You're alright.

sorensenpower said...

Yes, it's true. I did leave the other two comments. And Ryan, I thought this day would never come.

Thanks.

Mickael said...

This great post reminded me of a product I saw on home depot's shelves a while back. I couldn't remember the name, only that it used CO2 cartridges. Google helped me find this:

http://wms.scripps.com/library/DIY_Network/75703.wmv?site=diy&source=DIY%20Network&player=UP%20DIY%20%20-%20Tools&channel=Specialty%20Tools

Sounds like Alex and Danny should both invest in one. Just imagine what this baby will do to your neighbors sink!

a s h o l i n a said...

Seriously. Is that really your grandma?!?! That's awesome. That'll be me in 60 years :) Enjoy the lovely married housing at the U! I've stayed there... no bueno. Always an adventure!

Amber said...

HAHA! This is hilariously disgusting. If I was your neighbor I would have shown up at your door with a shovel. Too funny!

Wade and Taryn said...

That is awesome!! I wish I was there!!

Ariel said...

I have drain clogging/neighbor sharing sink problems as well. I think I'm going to go break my broom now. Thanks for your expert example.

sorensenpower said...

I'm just changing the world of clogged sinks one day at a time.

Jenbug said...

Oh man, the joys of student housing! I just have one question: Did you try Draino first? Either way, you are hilarious!

hilarye said...

that's rad- first the ruler with the tape saving Candace's papers and now this??? I'm calling you dan dan the handy man

Scar Belly said...

Yeah, your neighbor IS a douce bag. :-)